The Mandalorian

The Mandalorian is not a Western.

So the second season of The Mandalorian begins.

I've been told repeatedly that this series is good because, even though its main character has no personality and its only supporting cast member is a literal mute puppet, "it's like a Western but in space!" This, I must concede, is sort of true.

But if The Mandalorian is a Western, it doesn't seem to understand its genre very well

Leaving its numerous narrative issues aside for the moment, what bothers me most about this series is the presentation of "Mando," henceforth to be referred to as Not Boba Fett. Showrunner Jon Favreu is clearly going for a Man With No Name vibe for this character. A laconic-and-tough bounty killer, with a sci-fi twist.

I am absolutely on board with this in abstract.

I want to make that clear: Boba Fett in the original movies--well, really, in Empire Strikes Back--IS that Clint Eastwood character. He's cool, he doesn't say much, he looks badass, he's a bounty hunter. Awesome.

Not Boba Fett in The Mandalorian isn't that character.

#1. The Western Gunslinger is Cool and Laconic

Not Boba Fett is neither cool nor laconic. To be honest, I can't assign him any character traits whatsoever. He's...kind of nice? Paternal? Willing to help people? In fact, all he has going for him is that he looks like Boba Fett. There isn't even a compelling element of performance.

But beyond his complete shallowness, it's the way in which Fake Boba Fett is written that really bothers me. He isn't laconic. He talks way, way too often.

For a real Western gunslinger, actions speak louder than words--and when they do speak it's fucking badass and generally informing the person they're about to murder about how dead they will be momentarily.

Clint Eastwood characters are laconic. Let me provide you with some examples.

"Do you feel lucky, punk?"

“You know, you're going to look awfully silly with that knife sticking up your ass.” 

“I don't think it's nice, you laughing. You see, my mule don't like people laughing."

I imagine most people reading this blog are likely gamers, so let me provide you with some great examples of laconic characters from interactive media: the Master Chief in Halo 2, Geralt of Rivia in The Witcher, and Naked Snake in Metal Gear Solid 3. Notice that all of these characters are cool action heroes with gruff American accents.

But what makes a character actually laconic is wit and pith. Speak much while saying little. Every word is like a microscopic nuclear missile.

Fake Boba Fett? He just talks. And talks. And says pointless shit. He ain't laconic. He doesn't feel anything like Clint Eastwood. He's not cool. He's just LAME.

#2. Western Heroes = Antiheroes

In the 50s-60s, Sergio Leone directed and released a series of postmodern Western films. These are probably the Westerns we today in the US are the most familiar with. What distinguished Leone's movies from earlier, classical Westerns was the violence, the edge, and the moral ambiguity.

See, in old John Wayne movies, the morality is pretty simple. There is a hero. There is a love interest. There is a villain. The hero wins. End film.

But Leone was influenced by (or a plagiarist of, your call) Akira Kurosawa's own Western-esq samurai films, chiefly Yojimbo, which existed in a far grayer moral space, and these elements persisted in American Westerns well into the 1970s and beyond.

My point is that when someone says The Mandalorian is a Western, what they really mean is that, stylistically and aesthetically, it reminds them of a Spaghetti Western. And in Spaghetti Westerns, THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE BAD.

Or, at least, selfish and materialistically motivated. The Man With No Name is rarely outright bad, but he ain't a hero, either.

SO WHY IS FAKE BOBA FETT SO NICE?

The answer is that Star Wars is a franchise for tiny children, but I hate the simplistic morality on display throughout The Mandalorian. It's so Good vs. Evil, it makes me sick. Mando is a BOUNTY HUNTER. He HUNTS BOUNTIES. We even see him murdering people all of the time! So why is he SO NICE?

Can't Star Wars have a real antihero protagonist? Just this once? All I'm asking for is a protagonist who doesn't go out of his way to save babies. That's all I want. Someone a little more nuanced, a little more selfish, a little more destructive and realistic. It would make this series far more of a Western if he was.

#3. Just take off the fucking helmet already

Look. I know that Fake Boba Fett can't take off his helmet because if he did we would realize that the only thing he has going for him is that he looks like Boba Fett. I get it. I can live with this.

But when your main character is not verbally expressive, we in the audience need visual cues to make up for the silence. In Leone's films close-ups of the eyes are enormously important. Clint Eastwood telegraphs a LOT with his performance.

YOU CANNOT HAVE A MEANINGFUL PERFORMANCE WHEN YOUR PROTAGONIST IS TRAPPED INSIDE OF A TIN CAN

Imagine the final Mexican stand-off in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, except replace Blondie with a Dalek. It wouldn't work. Do you know why? Because the beads of sweat on each character's face, the subtle twitching of the eyes, the casual shift in weight--these are the things that create conflict and drama when the characters are not talking.

Mando can have none of these things, because Mando is trapped inside of a tin can.

There are sequences in the first season in which the director has even gone so far as to show a close-up of Mando's helmet, as if in a Leone film...and it's laugh-out-loud absurd. We can't see anything behind his mask! Closeup on his face? It's pointless. It doesn't work. We're left with nothing to latch onto. The only reason why people like Mando's character in this series is BECAUSE he looks like Boba Fett. I'm sorry, but that's just not good enough.

So please, Kathleen Kennedy...

...and I know you're reading this, PLEASE take off that stupid helmet, give the character some moral complexity, pay more attention to the words coming out of his mouth, and let Pedro Pascal actually ACT. Do all things, and The Mandalorian would be a serviceable, if mediocre, action adventure serial.

As it currently is, the series is a complete bore, with nothing going for it except visual effects. I think I'll go watch Hamilton for the tenth time instead.